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BELLE AND SEBASTIAN - London Somerset House - 18 July 2004   Print  E-mail 
Written by Mark Reed  
Sunday, 18 July 2004
It's like the great punk wars of 1977 never happened. Not a band, but bland.

It's like Nirvana never existed.

Belle and Sebastian are worlds first indie boy band : crowd pleasing moves, love songs, and nothing to make you think. Instead of changing the world, Belle And Sebastian make you want to change your shoes.

There's all the audience pleasing moves you'd expect. There's putting the lights of the crowd, Passing the microphone into the crowd, and the well chosen cover version to please the mom and dad : theirs is a cover of Madness's "embarrassment", almost as bad as the original.

There's something that sounded like a fey pale indie photocopy of "Common People". There's at least two songs that sound like The Jam AND The Beatles at the same time. It might even be a Beatles cover. Like, I'd never heard of them. Cheers for the tip, guys.

There's at least two songs that mention the word Belle and Sebastian in the title. I half expect a Utah Saints style sample of "B-B-B-Belle And Sebastian! B-B-B-Belle And Sebastian!".

All that's missing is the knickers on the stage.

Welcome to Stadium twee. Dull, Bland, music that makes me embarrassed to be white. Let alone Middle class. You'd cant move for the woolly cardigans. Men wearing sandals. It's so inoffensive, its.... Offensive.

Where's the passion? The fury? Where's the sense that they need this? There isn't. I almost feel as if they clock in before they go on stage.

Make no mistake. If Henry Rollins was here, he would be on an one man mission to rid the world of these pale pencil necked fuckers, telling how this audience needs real artists who need it man. For real. He'd be tearing through the crowd, ripping sweet little indie boys & girls apart with his beare teeth, throwing caution and their shallow escapism to the four winds.

There's no reason for them to be onstage. I've seen more passion in a hooker, or a Powerpoint presentation on Persil. I'd rather be in work.

Some people mistake saying something with having something to say. Come back when you've got something important to say ; or don't come back at all. I wanna be adored : not bored.

Legends? These are Legion. Devil Spawn. Dull. Vapid. Not a band, but bland. Obscurity knocks. Taxi For Belle & Sebastian!


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