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RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS - Live At Hyde Park   Print  E-mail 
Written by Graham Reed  
Tuesday, 27 July 2004
Like, why?

Fast forward the past.

 

It's 1989, and You are a moderately successful cult-ish funk/rock band , but with a pretty boy photogenic singer, who's a junkie. You've got some geezer on bass who is alleged to be one of the best bass players in the world, but has been cursed with being a white guy who can do slap-funk basslines like a P-FUNK legend. Only he's got a green mohican, and has mistakes physical dexterity for talent, like the hair metal guitarists in POISON, WINGER and all those other crap pop-rock bands who think simply because he graduated from GIT and can do hammer-on's, that therefore you are automatically an axe-god. And he's a junkie.You've a drummer who is not bad, but a junkie. You've got a guitarist who's not bad, but...guess what... a junkie.

 

And in 15 years time, you will be huge. All thanks to a little song about ...drugs. "Under the Bridge", that insipid sell-out Queensryche-esque power ballad hidden away as track 10 on your debut major label debut of Warners. As Later covered by All Saints. And your local wannabe rock star sixth formers.

 

Now, of course, you've got a greatest hits album and you need to buy some time. For some god unknown reason, you've got huge, and can play to the equivalent of four nights at Wembley Stadium, or 3 nights in front of 100,000 people a night. That makes you bigger than Bon Jovi. 30 times bigger  than Guns N Roses. 100 times bigger than Def Leppard. And it doesn't mean you're any good. I mean, this is a country where over 1 million people bought the first Hear'say single.

 

But why? To me you're still some bunch of zany larking around around chancers who hit it lucky by accident. it's not like there's many tunes here you can whistle. In fact, I can only think of three; and I've already mentioned one of those. The other two are "Give It Away" and the other one I can't even remember the title of it. I can hum it though. Oh hang on...It's called "Knock Me Down", and its not even on here, for god's sake.

 

By the way, anyone who proclaims that "Give It Away" is genius, remember this. E-A-G C-E C-E. Brilliant. What a chord progression. NOT.

 

it's like punk rock never happened. Instead what we get is nothing new. Not like Faith No More's magnificent "Angel Dust" album, which took funk rock, turned it inside out over a meat grinder and decided to throw the successful formula away. I mean Faith No More could have made the same album over and over again, made a shitload of money and turned into a pale imitation of greatness. Well, they didn't, but the Chili Peppers did, they just carried on making the same record over and over.

 

There's no musical progression here at all, in fact, they've just been making the same record since 1989. Talk about stagnant. Funk slap bass? Check. Sub-reggae guitar chords just accessible enough to appeal to Top of the Pops and Kerrang TV? Check. They've just been turning 'em out in their sleep. The best thing they ever had was Cliff Martinez, and his recent work has shown a musician at work,  - listen to the soundtracks of "Traffic" or "Solaris" for proof - not some ex-crackhead hunting for a easy paycheck. Go on, goof off, wear socks over your cocks, dye your hair, whatever, just turn into some bloody photocopy of yourselves. Not some quirky icon on a tye-dyed t-shirt and a sew-on patch. You couldn't make a band more designed to sell to the impressionable that this.

 

There's nothing new the Chili Peppers have to say anymore. I mean look at this..."

 

"Throw Away Your Television". Wow. Like how profound. Never heard of that idea. ripping off 15 year old Neds Atomic Dustbin song titles must have really hurt in the creativity stakes guys. That's "Kill Your Television" back  in 1990, by the way.And guess what? That had like a chorus and everything. AND slap bass. 

 

"Drum Homage Medley ". yep, Drum Solos. great. This is everything you bloated old rock stars set out to destroy all those days ago. Interminable bloody drum solo's for gods sake. Jesus, when i say there's nothing new to say, I'm not kidding. Go listen to "Moby Dick" by Led Zeppelin, that's not just a drum solo, but a piece of music also; It treats the drum kit as an instrument. Here Chad Smith just treats it like an excuse to have an aural wank off in front of 100,000 people. Talking of Aural Wank Off's, here's "Flea's trumpet treated by John". Jesus, might as well just screen you guys having a circle jerk for all the artistic content here.

 

And in the meantime, pioneers such as the magnificent Living Colour and Faith no more are ignored while you suck Satan's pecker for a pay rise, and make a fortune ripping off the genius of others. Vernon Reid as a guitarist always was more interesting and innovative than this audio wank. But once again, like Elvis in '57, it's a case of the white man taking the black mans music and making money from it. Or not, depending on the lack of Stevie Wonder and Hendrix covers here.  If Living Colour had been white, they might have been as huge as you guys are now.

 

You See, the Red Hot Chili Peppers showed promise once. Hell, everything up to "Mother's Milk" in 1989 was interesting. But there's absolutely nothing here from earlier than 1991. No "Knock Me Down", their finest hour. Nothing. it's like those formative and groundbreaking years have been orwellised out of history, replaced by a homogenised, blanded out, XFM and MTV2 friendly commercial hit machine.

I tell you, if Kledis looked like a bush pig, this band wouldn't be even be playing a fucking shoebox, let alone Hyde Park.

 

How the hell did this ever get so bloody big? Psychedelic sex magick my arse. Bloated rock stars who don't know when to stop because too lost in their own ego's more like. Only going forward because they don't know what else to do. Quite frankly, I'd rather go trepanning or drill holes in my skull with a drill than ever listen to this again. I'd prefer the sound at any rate.

 

This band sound like music with all the passion blanded out. If one band truly truly need to rediscover themselves artistically or face future irrelevance, this band are it. Please Please go away, you are pissing on your good work in the past - listen to "Johnny Kick a Hole in the Sky" - with every second you continue to exist. You've confused saying something with having something to say. Go listen to your own soul heroes, James Brown and the al, and understand it was the likes of you making these sonic abortions they meant when they wrote "Talking Loud, Saying Nothing". Please god make it stop.

 

This album is a symptom of everything that is wrong with music today. A Bland, meaningless commercial cash in with no artistic value whatsoever. An absolute travesty, because this bunch of tattooed rock whores are just taking the money. You hear that? It's not the sound of 100,000 screaming fans. It's the sound of 4 rich rockstars running to the bank, wondering how the hell they've got away with such soulless, vapid, insipid, regurgitated, meaningless shit for so long. If these people had any understanding of how devaluing and debasing they are making music, they would hang their heads in shame, make a pilgrimage to each and every one of their idols who still have passion and soul in their hearts and offer themselves as a sacrifice to crimes against music.

 

I've one abiding memory of the Chili Peppers. I'm on a train, and the hoodie top wearing teens in the middle of a leafy Spa town are singing "Under The Bridge" like the brainless sheep they are (On this album, you can practically hear the zippo's light up for that one). And at the end of thier little singalong, I just piped up with "All Saints did it better". And then there was silence. Shock. How dare someone criticize my teen idols? you could almost hear their brains click. And you know what...None of them could think of a comeback. Not one. Says it all really. Sheep. Baaaaa.

 

What Did you expect? Afterall, you know what? You suckers keep on buying it. Enjoy it.I already know what it tastes like.

 

Shit Sandwich.

 

 

 

 

Disc One

 1. Intro 

 2. Can't Stop 

 3. Around The World 

 4. Scar Tissue 

 5. By The Way 

 6. Fortune Faded

 7. I Feel Love 

 8. Otherside 

 9. Easily 

 10. Universally Speaking 

 11. Get On Top 

 12. Brandy 

 13. Don't Forget Me 

 14. Rolling Sly Stone

 

 Disc Two

 1. Throw Away Your Television 

 2. Leverage Of Space 

 3. Purple Stain 

 4. Zephyr Song

 5. Californication

 6. Right On Time

 7. Parallel Universe

 8. Drum Homage Medley

 9. Under The Bridge

 10. Black Cross

 11. Flea's Trumpet Treated By John

 12. Give It Away

 

Comments
bleh
Written by charlyn on 2005-10-25 12:28:11
thats absolute crap:upset. The red hot chili peppers are brilliant. flea is the greatest bas player ever and AK is brilliantly talented. he may not be a singer but he can write and is a born performer. i think anyone who doesnt realise how brilliant they are should read scar tissue. it will totally show you things from another point of view. i know it made me love them.

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