"Around teatime on a Tuesday afternoon, God created Stourbridge.." chalkwritten sign outside the venue.

And so Miles returns to Stourbridge, one of about twenty 'home towns' he has, for his first show since, I think late 1986. Arriving at Stourbridge, it's apparent why people don't tend to play here. The town closes at 11.00pm prompt, there's nothing to except fuck and fight, and it seems to be a home for hairy old rockers. We manage to get lost, then found, before arriving at the venue - which is basically a Cafe - set in an industrial estate.

Once inside the ovenlike venue - I haven't been at a gig this hot, ever, in fact, except maybe the PWEI Middlesborough Arena show in 1992 (capacity 149, present approx 650) - it's absolutely heaving. Being Stourbridge, the usual posse of followers are present. .

The venue itself is quite strange. In one corner on a triangular stage we get support from Kate, Chris Mills (who does some very interesting things with just a guitar and a drummer), before Miles himself appears. The set has been posted elsewhere. Suffice to say that Miles is in a very sweaty, good mood, and seems to be able to carry himself off as a comedian if ever he forgets how to be a guitarist or singer. The first trio, Truth At Last, Smoked, and the excellent Line Em Up (which according to Miles, has taken 17 years to write), are excellent and - if the acoustic versions are anything to go by - promise yet another fantastic album next year.

Next up come some more familiar songs from Hairy On The Inside, which are again, excellent. I can't help but wonder how some of these might sound if, say, they are performed with their fellow co-creators at Christmas, mind you. Everything is Not OK now contains one of Milo's trademark snotty verses, "I didn't mean to offend you, I didn't mean to appear rude, but yes I snuck into your bedroom, and yes, I spat into your food."...

And of course, Miles reveals that the Wonder Stuff reformation probably won't result in a new album. The basis of this being that for the "Love Bites & Bruises" album, Miles + Malc have just finished a song 6 years after it was originally recorded. By the same basis, the next Wonder Stuff album will, he says, be released in 2072. When Miles is 106. I can wait that long..

Anyway, next up is Their Terrible Selves, a diatribe on tha nature of a lovless marriage between two trapped people from what I can make out, is another fine dispatch from Miles. I think this was written when Miles came back from London, bridges firmly incinerated.. This song is interuppted by a broken string, and so, despite there being approx. 4 former guitar roadies in the room, Chris Mills restrings it.

Fixer - the greatest top 72 single ever - is next. God, have I ever told you how much I love Vent?

Circlesquare is ruined, frankly, by a stage invasion from two obnoxious morons. Whilst Miles is singing, two dreaded goons in awful jackets leap up and conduct idiot dancing around him. It isn't helped by the fact these guys are obviously drunk in charge of an ugly face. Miles stops the song mid line. "Fuck off. You haven't got any talent. Your presence is not required."

And takes a drink. Goon#1 and Goon#2 dance around to silence, give the crowd the finger, and when they realise that the only way you get to share a stage with Miles is to have your name on the ticket, or talent, rub his head. To which, quite rightly they are firmly shoved off. But not before Goon#1 and Goon#2 promise a fight to the audience, who have paid to see Miles, and not the Dread Goon Show.

The set abruptly closes on Not In My Plans, before old Milo returns for bristlingly good versions of Piece Of Sky, Cartoon Boyfriend, and Unbearable, which manages to generate another exceptionally rowdy moshpit and then a second encore of Room 512 (the "fcuking cunt" version, thanks to a broken string) and the glorious Maybe.

But that's not all. Goon#1 and Goon#2 have left the building, waiting ominously for the more vocal members of the audience, so Goon#1 and #2 can give them a piece of their tiny minds. Naturally, by the burger van a bloody fight ensues as the Goon Squad try and drag people round the back where it is darker, and less noticeable. The two even kick people who happen to be standing nearby (who incidentally drove from Brighton to see this appalling display), or lying on the floor in a bloody pool. Dicks.

Anyway, they are arrested by Stourbridges second Finest. Where hopefully they are charged for hair crimes, bad manners, being drunk in charge of an ugly face, and lowering the standard, amongst other things.

Finally, the remaining few head off for a curry, before descending into drunken rambling, and finally finding the comfort of their beds, sofas, hallways, or cars. In the meantime, its just another drunken Saturday night in a suburban town.

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.

Powered by AkoComment 1.0 beta 2!