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NINE INCH NAILS - WIth Teeth   Print  E-mail 
Written by Mark Reed  
Friday, 06 May 2005

Get your black t-shirts out for the International Moping Contest...

 

GoTrent Go. The most miserable forty year old in rock is back. So slap on your fishnets, your flour, and your black shirts. And run around screaming “FUCK” a lot. If there’s one thing this album has got exactly right, it’s mastered The Art Of Fuck. All the Fucks Are Right Where They Belong.

 

Whilst Trent has been stuck in a mansion somewhere the past five years, the world passed evolved and he stayed still. Still snorting loads of drugs (and I mean loads), enough to make even me jealous, and for him to get his very own silver plated, framed syringe from the Dealers Association of America to acknowledge his 600,000th wrap of coke, or crack, or speed, or spack, or creed, or whatever it was his addictive personality told him to stuff in him. Hooray for junkies!

 

So here we go. There’s a song called Every Day Is Exactly The Same, which kinda reminds me. Every NIN Album Is Exactly The Same. Ingredients : Screechy guitar, a dirty bassline, some drums, a keyboard sound stolen from Scary Martians, some bleeps and some adolescent whinging. Oh. And Fucks. Lots of Fucks. 15 Fucks, a Shit, and a wonderful chorus of “I made you up just to hurt myself and it worked… it did!” on one song.

 

Trent should hand over lyric writing to his army of Shakespearian monkeys, because you can’t do much worse than this. Pick a random bunch of rhyming words from your ‘puberty by numbers’ Scrabble Pack (alone/pain/hole/hate/fading/less/etc) and throw thema round in random order and voila! Instant NIN lyric!

 

All The Love In The World is fine, if you like whiny sixth form lyrics “why do you get all the love in the world?” moans the world’s oldest virgin, whilst getting his dick sucked backstage. Later on, he quotes some old Elvis song about getting so lonesome he could athankyewverrahmuch! There’s also some wonderfully Bonoesque line about stars all afire in the sky that would have Eno shaving his skull in frustration.

 

Did I mention Drums? You can tell the songs Dave Grohl plays on. The drums are NUTS. Here Dave, you can imagine Trent saying, lets have an eight bass drum fill and four drum solos all at the same time! Let the drums sound like an entire army of bored ethnic percussionists! Oh. And there’s some lyrics. DON’T YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? He asks. I must have left my ear trumpet at home because he’s really yelling at me.

 

Blah Blah. Some more songs. The usual stuff. Pop music with self-pitying lyrics wrapped inside shitloads of noise and with lots of scary faces. Nine Inch Nails : not just there for the bad things in life.

 

Trent’s discovered love! Whoa! He made you up just to hurt himself… and he wanted to fuck you like an animal! Eh? I’m confused. But not half as confused as he is.

 

(sincere interlude)

 

The Hand That Feeds” is the best Nine Inch Nails song ever. And it’s lyrics are actually about something other than self-pitying boo-hoo-I’m-bored-wanking self-pity. It’s certainly the most political, and explicitly anti-Bush song in his cannon. Compdred to “American Idiot” and “Mosh”, it’s fuck all. But then again sometimes you don’t need or want to be hit by The Hammer Of The Fucking Obvious.

 

(back to being a fuckhead)

 

Anyway, it’s a Nine Inch Nails album. But like. Not so crap. (Or if you prefer, much better than the last one). But WOAH! Where are the pointless instrumentals? Where’s the rampaging predictable self-pity?

 

Oh! There You Are! DON’T YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? So anyway, here’s another Nine Inch Nails album. Better than the meandering Fragile, and unlike 4 of the last 5 albums it isn’t a pointless fucking remix fucking live fucking remastered compilation of fucking songs you fucking found somfuckingwhere else.

 

If you like your self-pity angry, your guitars crunchy, if you like Nine Inch Nails, or are between the ages of 14-34, or like black t-shirts. Buy this. IT RAWKS DOOD!

 

Seriously. It’s a fucking good album, and easily the best Nine Inch Nails album in over a decade.

 

Comments
are u fucking kidding me ?
Written by Guest on 2005-06-16 01:04:43
u got a good argument goin on buddy .. but u don't know what ur talking about and clearly u can't be a true NIN fan so ur opinion really doesn't matter in this situation. Trents a god and i will listen to his music no mater what he signs about because hes got style, and he doesn't give a fuck about punks like you .. personally i think with teeth sucks compared to the downward sprial and the fragile. but ur opinion is ur opinion .. just wanted to state mine

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